I could pretend everything is fine.
But deep inside..I cried.
How could you not notice or even bother to ask.
I feel like to runaway.
Go away and not thinking of it.
Sumtimes,I'm just tired.
Or am I just ego-shit?
So that others happy while I'm faking it.
I dunno how to say it to ur face...
Because I just can't say it...
Stupid ego in me has hurt myself so many times but it seems like
She never stop be it.stupid.its okay. :(.ill be okay sooner or later.
Maybe.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Behind The Bars.
i lock myslf in floating cage on d sea n throw d key far frm being reachable.
am feelng too insecure 2 face d ruthless outside world.
i wont remorse cz ive perspicaciously think of it.
a sagacious judgment is requisite.
alone inside d cage,i sorrow bt safe.
am feelng too insecure 2 face d ruthless outside world.
i wont remorse cz ive perspicaciously think of it.
a sagacious judgment is requisite.
alone inside d cage,i sorrow bt safe.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Epilogue
I slowly opened my eyes..it was blurry and almost everything looked white.I guess i just had a long napped with no memory innit. At the corner of my bed, i saw someone was lying lifelessly.He looked pale n exhausted. My heart was thumping hard as if i knew this guy from d'past. Was he the guardian of my solitude days?..tsk tsk..Wait, i recognized his face but it came to grief wen i cudn't recall anything perfectly.i wonder why did i have a good feeling about him and why did he look so familiar? ...suddenly, a voice broke the silence exclaimed that i've been conscious from a coma..oh! i was half dead previously? ..i tried to make a pace but my movement was slow.*sigh* i need to know what day is today... Ive got to stimulate all my nerves and so i walked...I searched fr a calendar and i found dat today is 24th December 09.i felt so relieved.What a beautiful day to feel alive again...what has been happening to me? why didn't i remember anything but i felt pain in d'heart? did somebody stab my heart and let me in d woebegone misery? Sth caught my eyes on the notice board.It stated "Fatrisha has been coma since Sunday,5th july 2009 till Wednesday,23rd December 2009.Thursday,24th December 2009 - The awakening" .GOSH! what a long period to sleep..but,there's tiny feeling of devastated.My mind has deteriorated.i cudn't recall much n it led me to despair.The worst part is i still feel d pain in the heart.Who did this? ...how ferocious that person was!....I startled when 'The guy from the past' tapped on my shoulder.I gazed into his eyes searching for a clue.He smiled n blurted out '' i saved you... '' ..tears started welling my eyes.He randomly checked on his shirt pocket and sth came out.He hand it to me,its a love necklace..."This is a gift for you because of surviving."his voice trembled....the scene baffled me completely.he was murmuring sth that i hardly to hear and suddenly he uttered out his name..very familiar!...i started to sob like a child....finally,i remember the name who saved me,but i couldnt remember the name who had murdered me..urm murdered? i dunno what a better word to rephrase....then,the word BITCH pop-up on my mind,followed by the thought of an outmoded blonde kid..who's she?...but the face was blur and distorted.....fuck.that must have sth to do with my past!....i tried to remember more...a big white bear on the building came next...i cried..i walked to my bed and contemplated over things but i failed to remember an important clue....maybe god doesn't want me to dig out what has happened previously. it must be tragic incident or maybe a beautiful journey but full with obstacles..i don't know...now, im reborn fatrisha that aged 24 years old.i live again.Let bygones be bygones.I don't want to remember coz im pretty sure its sad story.i petrify.
Prologue
it takes time to tame a wild cat.coerce me makes the situation harder.patience do wonder.better stay or never cz my heart grows fonder.You said, never say never and i'm a believer.yeah love is blind dear lover but dun be a blinder.u cast a love spell on me being together forever but u never ponder when u spilled out it's over. now, the wild cat has grieved over the love matter. so i ask u over and over, what do u prefer? be my lover or forever hater? tame the wild cat with pamper or let it wild with anger.you cud be my heart saviour or heart breaker .think wiser my dear lover.think! =]
p.s : i <3 you. never doubt.
1.4.3. just dwell on my mind.=x
FATRISHA YUSSOF
p.s : i <3 you. never doubt.
1.4.3. just dwell on my mind.=x
FATRISHA YUSSOF
Friday, October 9, 2009
Fair Fight Gudeline =)
# “Remember the point of the fight is to reach a solution, not to win, be right, or make your partner wrong.”Remember the point of the fight is to reach a solution, not to win, be right, or make your partner wrong.
# Don't try to mind read. Ask instead what he or she is thinking.
# Don't bring up all the prior problems that relate to this one. Leave the past in the past; keep this about one recent problem. Solve one thing at a time.
# Keep the process simple. State the problem, suggest some alternatives, and choose a solution together.
# Don't talk too much at once. Keep your statements to two or three sentences. Your partner will not be able to grasp more than that.
# Give your partner a chance to respond and to suggest options.
# Practice equality. If something is important enough to one of you, it will inevitably be important to both of you, so honor your partner's need to solve a problem.
# Ask and Answer questions directly. Again, keep it as simple as possible. Let your partner know you hear him or her.
# State your problem as a request, not a demand. To make it a positive request, use "I messages" and "please".
# Don't use power struggle tactics: guilt and obligation, threats and emotional blackmail, courtroom logic: peacekeeping, sacrificing, or hammering away are off limits.
# Know your facts: If you're going to fight for something, know the facts about the problem: Do research, find out what options are available, and know how you feel and what would solve the problem for you.
# Ask for changes in behavior, don't criticize character, ethics or morals.
# Don't fight over who's right or wrong. Opinions are opinions, and that won't solve the problem. Instead, focus on what will work.
# Ask your partner if he or she has anything to add to the discussion. "Is there anything else we need to discuss now?"
#
“Don't guess what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask. "What do you think?" Or "How do you feel about it?"”
Don't guess what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask. "What do you think?" Or "How do you feel about it?"
# Hold hands, look at each other, and remember you're partners.
# If you're angry, express it calmly. "I'm angry about ..." There's no need for drama, and it won't get you what you want. Anger is satisfied by being acknowledged, and by creating change. Anger is a normal emotion -- rage is phony, it's drama created by not taking care of yourself.
# Acknowledged and honor your partner's feelings -- don't deflect them, laugh at them or freak out. They're only feelings, and they subside when respected, heard and honored.
# Listen with your whole self. Paraphrase what your partner says; check to see if you understand by repeating what is said. "So you are angry because you think I ignored you. Is that right?"
# No personal attacks or criticism. Focus on solving the problem.
# If you want to let off steam (vent), ask permission or take a time out. Handle your excess emotion or energy by being active (run, walk, hit a pillow,) writing, or talking to someone who is not part of the problem. Don't direct it personally at anyone. You can't vent and solve problems at the same time.
# Don't try to solve a problem if you're impaired: tired, hungry, drunk or unstable.
# Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it, and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
# Don't try to mind read. Ask instead what he or she is thinking.
# Don't bring up all the prior problems that relate to this one. Leave the past in the past; keep this about one recent problem. Solve one thing at a time.
# Keep the process simple. State the problem, suggest some alternatives, and choose a solution together.
# Don't talk too much at once. Keep your statements to two or three sentences. Your partner will not be able to grasp more than that.
# Give your partner a chance to respond and to suggest options.
# Practice equality. If something is important enough to one of you, it will inevitably be important to both of you, so honor your partner's need to solve a problem.
# Ask and Answer questions directly. Again, keep it as simple as possible. Let your partner know you hear him or her.
# State your problem as a request, not a demand. To make it a positive request, use "I messages" and "please".
# Don't use power struggle tactics: guilt and obligation, threats and emotional blackmail, courtroom logic: peacekeeping, sacrificing, or hammering away are off limits.
# Know your facts: If you're going to fight for something, know the facts about the problem: Do research, find out what options are available, and know how you feel and what would solve the problem for you.
# Ask for changes in behavior, don't criticize character, ethics or morals.
# Don't fight over who's right or wrong. Opinions are opinions, and that won't solve the problem. Instead, focus on what will work.
# Ask your partner if he or she has anything to add to the discussion. "Is there anything else we need to discuss now?"
#
“Don't guess what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask. "What do you think?" Or "How do you feel about it?"”
Don't guess what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask. "What do you think?" Or "How do you feel about it?"
# Hold hands, look at each other, and remember you're partners.
# If you're angry, express it calmly. "I'm angry about ..." There's no need for drama, and it won't get you what you want. Anger is satisfied by being acknowledged, and by creating change. Anger is a normal emotion -- rage is phony, it's drama created by not taking care of yourself.
# Acknowledged and honor your partner's feelings -- don't deflect them, laugh at them or freak out. They're only feelings, and they subside when respected, heard and honored.
# Listen with your whole self. Paraphrase what your partner says; check to see if you understand by repeating what is said. "So you are angry because you think I ignored you. Is that right?"
# No personal attacks or criticism. Focus on solving the problem.
# If you want to let off steam (vent), ask permission or take a time out. Handle your excess emotion or energy by being active (run, walk, hit a pillow,) writing, or talking to someone who is not part of the problem. Don't direct it personally at anyone. You can't vent and solve problems at the same time.
# Don't try to solve a problem if you're impaired: tired, hungry, drunk or unstable.
# Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it, and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Heartbreaker
-From article-
Don't. Call. Me. Ever. Again. Who among us hasn't uttered these five words to a boyfriend in the heat of a breakup? But you may find yourself missing the guy and wondering if things could have been different. Your ex is familiar territory, but is it a country that you should consider revisiting?
Should You Get Back Together?
There are some circumstances under which you should never try and reunite with an ex. If he was abusive toward you, either physically or verbally, it's a no-brainer: don't get back together.
If there was cheating involved, ask yourself if you can truly trust him again. If you can put the incident in the past—fine. But if you'll be checking his e-mail and searching his coat pockets for credit card receipts, that's a big red flag that you shouldn't rekindle things.
Sometimes a relationship ends due to circumstances. Maybe one of you had to take a job in a different city or the timing just wasn't right. "Ask yourself if there are more benefits to trying than not trying," says Paget. "But don't let regret be the sole driving force."
For some women, getting back together with an ex is like slipping on a pair of sweat pants—it's easy and feels natural. But that doesn't mean getting back together is the right thing to do.With months or years of distance since you broke up, it's easy to see the relationship through rose-colored glasses. Make sure that you remind yourself not just about the good things, but also of the reasons things turned rocky.
"Take responsibility for your role in the break up. Think about how you have evolved and [if you're considering renewing the relationship] how you can now be a better partner.
Six Steps To Winning Him Back
Once you've decided that your reasons for getting back together are sound, here's how to proceed.
1. Run it by the girls.
"Ask your closest friends if they think it's a good idea," says Paget. "They have only your best interests in mind and will tell you if this partner treated you the way you should be treated."
2. Listen to your instincts.
Paget says to "Pay attention to your little voice warnings and your reactions—they don't lie." Getting back together with your ex might feel like an easy solution in the moment, but if your heart and head are not in it, you're just prolonging disaster.
3. Call him.
"I tried to get back with my high school ex a few years ago," says Clarissa, 28. "He had been through a divorce and I was also going through a tough period and since we'd known each other for so long, it was just really comfortable."
When Clarissa wanted her high school hottie back, she simply pulled out her cell phone. "One day after not having any contact for five years I decided to try and get a hold of him." She got his cell phone number from a mutual friend and just dialed. "I'm sometimes still shocked at myself for doing it!" she says.
But not all reunions end in romance. "After six months together, I decided to move to Europe. Rather than being upset he supported me 100 percent," says Clarissa. "We ended up meeting other people but I'm glad to say he's now one of my best friends. I'm glad that I tried to get him back otherwise I wouldn't have such a great friend in my life!"
4. Plan a daytime rendezvous—and don't have sex right away.
Resist the urge to go for drinks at your fave after-hours lounge and do lunch instead. "Don't get horizontal too quickly," warns Paget. "There's plenty of time to be sexual so don't let that cloud your heart and your thinking. Too often because people already have that intimacy established they return there before they have properly assessed if the rematch should occur."
5. Work on yourself.
"I was in love with my boyfriend, and he was in love with all of his guy friends," says Madeleine, 33. "His motto was 'bros before hos.' I walked out on him and I told him to not contact me and to leave me alone until he came to his senses."
Instead of trying to lure her man back Madeleine focused on improving her own circumstances. "I decided to leave our hometown. I started looking at grad schools and then apartments. Within a few weeks I was enrolled in school and had secured a lease."
Madeleine won her man back by showing him just what he was missing—and that her life was moving on without him. "Within six months he proposed. We live back in our hometown and now have two beautiful children."
6. Make a statement.
If you try the above and still can't seem to win him back, you may have to make a grand gesture. The grand gesture is the pull-out-all-the-stops, hold-a-boom-box-up-to-his-bedroom-window last chance for love. You have the advantage of knowing this guy well, so play into the way he communicates. If he's an intellectual guy, write him a letter spilling all your feelings for him. If he's the more physical type, show up at his door in a raincoat with a black bra and panty set underneath. (And if all else fails, bake him brownies. No guy can resist 'em.)
Second Time's A Charm
So assuming you get your guy back, how do you ensure that things will be different the second time around? For starters, don't get angry at him about the other women he dated while you two were "on a break."
"Be aware you both will have had other experiences after things ended." Paget says. "Don't expect it to be the same playing field – it's not."
"I think for the most part the breakup is behind us," says Angela, who is still going strong with Chris. "It still irks me sometimes to think that during those few months apart there were other girls in his life, but there were other guys in mine too so I can't complain."
Angela and Chris successfully reunited because they started with a clean slate. "We had time for questions, and we talked about everything and reassured each other that the time apart allowed us to realize we wanted to be with each other, not with other people," she says.
Once you're reunited, turn your gaze inward from time to time. "Remember, you learn plenty about the other person in a relationship but who you really learn about is YOU," says Paget. "Make it better the second time by learning from your mistakes." Ask yourself: Are you making your partner an important part of your life? Are you taking him or her for granted?
"Be the partner you would want to be involved with," says Fulbright.
Getting back together with an ex can be healthy—as long as you're both happy. "Any relationship is unhealthy if it doesn't make you feel good," Paget says.
Don't. Call. Me. Ever. Again. Who among us hasn't uttered these five words to a boyfriend in the heat of a breakup? But you may find yourself missing the guy and wondering if things could have been different. Your ex is familiar territory, but is it a country that you should consider revisiting?
Should You Get Back Together?
There are some circumstances under which you should never try and reunite with an ex. If he was abusive toward you, either physically or verbally, it's a no-brainer: don't get back together.
If there was cheating involved, ask yourself if you can truly trust him again. If you can put the incident in the past—fine. But if you'll be checking his e-mail and searching his coat pockets for credit card receipts, that's a big red flag that you shouldn't rekindle things.
Sometimes a relationship ends due to circumstances. Maybe one of you had to take a job in a different city or the timing just wasn't right. "Ask yourself if there are more benefits to trying than not trying," says Paget. "But don't let regret be the sole driving force."
For some women, getting back together with an ex is like slipping on a pair of sweat pants—it's easy and feels natural. But that doesn't mean getting back together is the right thing to do.With months or years of distance since you broke up, it's easy to see the relationship through rose-colored glasses. Make sure that you remind yourself not just about the good things, but also of the reasons things turned rocky.
"Take responsibility for your role in the break up. Think about how you have evolved and [if you're considering renewing the relationship] how you can now be a better partner.
Six Steps To Winning Him Back
Once you've decided that your reasons for getting back together are sound, here's how to proceed.
1. Run it by the girls.
"Ask your closest friends if they think it's a good idea," says Paget. "They have only your best interests in mind and will tell you if this partner treated you the way you should be treated."
2. Listen to your instincts.
Paget says to "Pay attention to your little voice warnings and your reactions—they don't lie." Getting back together with your ex might feel like an easy solution in the moment, but if your heart and head are not in it, you're just prolonging disaster.
3. Call him.
"I tried to get back with my high school ex a few years ago," says Clarissa, 28. "He had been through a divorce and I was also going through a tough period and since we'd known each other for so long, it was just really comfortable."
When Clarissa wanted her high school hottie back, she simply pulled out her cell phone. "One day after not having any contact for five years I decided to try and get a hold of him." She got his cell phone number from a mutual friend and just dialed. "I'm sometimes still shocked at myself for doing it!" she says.
But not all reunions end in romance. "After six months together, I decided to move to Europe. Rather than being upset he supported me 100 percent," says Clarissa. "We ended up meeting other people but I'm glad to say he's now one of my best friends. I'm glad that I tried to get him back otherwise I wouldn't have such a great friend in my life!"
4. Plan a daytime rendezvous—and don't have sex right away.
Resist the urge to go for drinks at your fave after-hours lounge and do lunch instead. "Don't get horizontal too quickly," warns Paget. "There's plenty of time to be sexual so don't let that cloud your heart and your thinking. Too often because people already have that intimacy established they return there before they have properly assessed if the rematch should occur."
5. Work on yourself.
"I was in love with my boyfriend, and he was in love with all of his guy friends," says Madeleine, 33. "His motto was 'bros before hos.' I walked out on him and I told him to not contact me and to leave me alone until he came to his senses."
Instead of trying to lure her man back Madeleine focused on improving her own circumstances. "I decided to leave our hometown. I started looking at grad schools and then apartments. Within a few weeks I was enrolled in school and had secured a lease."
Madeleine won her man back by showing him just what he was missing—and that her life was moving on without him. "Within six months he proposed. We live back in our hometown and now have two beautiful children."
6. Make a statement.
If you try the above and still can't seem to win him back, you may have to make a grand gesture. The grand gesture is the pull-out-all-the-stops, hold-a-boom-box-up-to-his-bedroom-window last chance for love. You have the advantage of knowing this guy well, so play into the way he communicates. If he's an intellectual guy, write him a letter spilling all your feelings for him. If he's the more physical type, show up at his door in a raincoat with a black bra and panty set underneath. (And if all else fails, bake him brownies. No guy can resist 'em.)
Second Time's A Charm
So assuming you get your guy back, how do you ensure that things will be different the second time around? For starters, don't get angry at him about the other women he dated while you two were "on a break."
"Be aware you both will have had other experiences after things ended." Paget says. "Don't expect it to be the same playing field – it's not."
"I think for the most part the breakup is behind us," says Angela, who is still going strong with Chris. "It still irks me sometimes to think that during those few months apart there were other girls in his life, but there were other guys in mine too so I can't complain."
Angela and Chris successfully reunited because they started with a clean slate. "We had time for questions, and we talked about everything and reassured each other that the time apart allowed us to realize we wanted to be with each other, not with other people," she says.
Once you're reunited, turn your gaze inward from time to time. "Remember, you learn plenty about the other person in a relationship but who you really learn about is YOU," says Paget. "Make it better the second time by learning from your mistakes." Ask yourself: Are you making your partner an important part of your life? Are you taking him or her for granted?
"Be the partner you would want to be involved with," says Fulbright.
Getting back together with an ex can be healthy—as long as you're both happy. "Any relationship is unhealthy if it doesn't make you feel good," Paget says.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Worries
im so stress...
i'm overwhelming over something which i cant assure
it would happen or it would remain as a fairytale...
the worst part is when you already got hold of something
but it's too easy to slip out of the hands...
and the question is how to avoid from loosing it?...
*sigh*
ya Allah, give me strength to overcome the situation...
it's something ive wanted from long time ago...
i don't want to blow the chance...
Ive made an effort about it...
i can't just lose it...
it's my future...
its my dream...
*sigh*
In no matter what,i want it happen desperately...
yeah its easy to dream...
ya allah, murahkan lah rezekiku...
papa,mama,baby......thanx for being supportive....
i love you guys so much...
gosh,im in tears...
i just can't help it...
tonite fill with gloomy mood...
btw, i promise if i could get hold of it, i wont waste it...
may my worries today worthwhile at the end...
Amin...
"Once you choose hope, anything's possible." -Christopher Reeve
i'm overwhelming over something which i cant assure
it would happen or it would remain as a fairytale...
the worst part is when you already got hold of something
but it's too easy to slip out of the hands...
and the question is how to avoid from loosing it?...
*sigh*
ya Allah, give me strength to overcome the situation...
it's something ive wanted from long time ago...
i don't want to blow the chance...
Ive made an effort about it...
i can't just lose it...
it's my future...
its my dream...
*sigh*
In no matter what,i want it happen desperately...
yeah its easy to dream...
ya allah, murahkan lah rezekiku...
papa,mama,baby......thanx for being supportive....
i love you guys so much...
gosh,im in tears...
i just can't help it...
tonite fill with gloomy mood...
btw, i promise if i could get hold of it, i wont waste it...
may my worries today worthwhile at the end...
Amin...
"Once you choose hope, anything's possible." -Christopher Reeve
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